Children's masturbation: causes, treatment. Child masturbation: causes and ways of getting rid of The nephew of 11 years old often masturbates what to do

Hello dear parents!
Today we will talk about a difficult but exciting topic for many parents - baby masturbation... What is this phenomenon? Is it dangerous? And how to react?

The "nature" of infant masturbation

Today medicine and ambiguous approach to this topic. Some say that masturbation in childhood- This is a completely normal phenomenon, an indispensable component of a child's development, which can manifest itself at an early age due to the experienced excitement. This can manifest itself by accident: during sleep, while climbing on the playground, in response to physical irritation, with diaper rash, at the moment the child examines his own body. Having experienced this sensation once, the child may find it pleasant enough and will try to repeat it. And then the REASON for this behavior becomes less significant, and FREQUENCY comes to the fore. Other experts consider this behavior dangerous, sometimes even a harbinger of a more serious mental disorder.

There are several types of classifications of this phenomenon. Psychologists also decided to keep up: so, at work D.N. Isaeva and V.E. Kagan "Psychohygiene of gender in children" various types of masturbation in children and adolescents are indicated, based on the concept of various mechanisms of masturbatory behavior. However, let's not get scared ahead of time, but let's figure out when and why this happens.

Infant masturbation

It is RARE, exactly as a behavior that can be called masturbatory. Visible in the 1st year of life, more often in girls.It is associated with cerebral dysfunctions, which can be a transitory phase of development, but sometimes should be alarming in terms of more serious cerebral disorders. Infant masturbation is expressed in various manipulations with the genitals - frequent touching, rubbing and other forms of mechanical irritation, during which the child, as a rule, experiences pleasure, blushes, breathes noisily, and sweats.

Preschool masturbation

It may be a consequence of interest in oneself and how everything works, having experienced pleasant sensations, the child may strive to repeat them. Most often it occurs in a situation where the child is left to himself and, what is important, does not have other, alternative forms of realizing his interests and receiving pleasure.

Pubertal masturbation

During adolescence, masturbation becomes a mass phenomenon. I.S. Kon pointed out that in boys it is increasing after 12 years,reaching its "peak" at 15 - 16 years old, when they do it 80-90% of boys.

Teen masturbation

Is an a means of releasing sexual tension, caused by physiological reasons, among which: overflow of seminal vesicles, mechanical irritation of the genitals, etc. Along with this, there are mental factors - an example of peers, a desire to test their potency, to have fun. It is often accompanied by vivid images, fantasies, and often even the choice of quite specific partners in their fantasies.

For mental disorders

Depending on their specificity, its manifestations are also different:

• Symptomatic.As a result of direct irritation of the genital or close areas with infectious and somatic diseases, more often helminthiasis, itchy dermatoses, as well as in the absence of the necessary body hygiene.
• Frustrated or NeuroticIt occurs in preschool and school age, and is not directly related to sexual desire. The child is, for example, a high level of requirements at school, at home there are strict rules and prohibitions, additional education is also associated with concentration and concentration. A child needs to be disciplined, organized and focused everywhere. For any child it is stressful, and if your child also has a choleric temperament, then masturbation is a “salvation”. It is the only discharge, relieves stress of the nervous system. A child, as a rule, after a "hard day" looks for opportunities for masturbation, not for sexual satisfaction, but as a way to relieve tension, discharge.

  At times masturbationbegins in the first grade, when the child is in a constant state of stress, and the orgasm brings him temporary relief, distracting him from the threats emanating from the teacher, classmates, etc. Some children begin to masturbate on the sly right in the lesson: during the test, before going out to the blackboard. However, children never show off masturbation and it is important to know that if this does happen, then it is here that it is better to consult a psychiatrist.

Well, finally, there is also PSEUDO masturbation - exploratory or familiar. The child essentially plays with the genitals - touches them, fiddles, etc., without rapid breathing and culminating discharge.

Is it dangerous? Why are adults so scared?

Most often, masturbation is a part of the cognitive process of oneself, one's body, as well as an adaptive-compensatory mechanism for obtaining positive emotions and sensations during stress and other psychophysical and emotional uncomfortable states. Well, one more function is sexual release in adolescence until the moment of finding an object of love and affection.

By her own masturbation is not dangerous if:

• it does not have a pretentious character with the use of foreign objects that can harm the child.
• if masturbation is episodic and does not have an intrusive nature as an everyday ritual.

However, there is still a danger, but it does not come from the process, but from the REACTION OF THE PARENTS or other ADULTS(educator, teacher). Adults are most often afraid that this "Mental illness", "sexual pathology", signs of "bad inclinations and addictions" and begin to actively PUNISH for such behavior of the child. It's a delusion!For none of the listed conditions, masturbation is the leading or main symptom! But persecution by adults, inadequate reactions due to the best intentions, can bring unpleasant consequences for the child, for the formation of his sexuality, attitude towards his own body and for building relationships with the opposite sex.

Despite the fairly large amount of information, most parents are very concerned about the fact that their child is “playing with the genitals”. Anxiety often makes it difficult for parents to properly respond to the appearance child masturbation. What fears do not overwhelm caring parents: is he "normal", and "isn't it too early to do this," and "will the child then be able to live a normal sex life", and "will he (she) be" there "that - something. "

And it must be said absolutely definitely that harm here can be done ONLY by the wrong reaction of adults.In case of AGGRESSIVE adult behavior (ridicule, intimidation, disclosure, including among peers, anger, persecution of a child, slaps on the hands and other parts)a baby can have a bond of sexual feelings with fear and shame, which will have a very negative impact on his future. The shame that surrounds everything related to gender and related organs can lead to the fact that, as they grow older, the child does not tell you about the situation that requires intervention. (for example, about harassment by an adult or older child), After all, the baby will be afraid even more of the DISCONNECTION of parents associated with the topic of sex and the body than a potential rapist. And this is deadly!

In the long term, such "Ostrich politics" will come back to haunt the inability to discuss certain intimate issues with your partner, not to mention the difficulties associated with the perception of your body as something dirty and shameful. Even more serious consequences of an inadequate response of adults can lead to the incorrect formation of sexuality, expressed in reduced potency in men, and the absence, or even the very excitement in women.

If a significant person for the child persistently instills in him that he has vicious inclinations, then sooner or later the child will try to justify such assumptions. In the case of ignoring this behavior and trying to pretend that everything is normal by the parents, the child can simply "get used to" this form of behavior as an affordable and quick only way to achieve the goal (stress relief, for example).

What to do?

The correct perception and reaction of the parents, as we discussed with you, when discovering the fact of masturbation of a child is much more important than the fact of this phenomenon.

Psychologists suggest adhering to a few simple principles:

• the emergence of masturbation as a phenomenon of cognition should not cause alertness - its consolidation and an increase in the facts of repetition should prompt an analysis of the reasons;
• a strict prohibition on masturbation can only stimulate interest in it and its use;
• do not make the topic of masturbation significant in the family circle;
• there is no reason to perceive child masturbation, arousal, identical to adult sexual arousal, especially at an early age;
• you should not yourself stimulate the child's use of masturbation (showing films, programs promoting this, as well as creating soil, excessive caress of an adult, kissing in the groin areas, buttocks, tickling, as well as tight, noisy violent games before bedtime).

How to react if you notice masturbatory behavior in your child:

• Calmly and calmly, with the involvement of a medical, physiological language, explain to your child that these are intimate organs and excessive touching or stimulating them is unhygienic, can damage the delicate structure of the tissue (without intimidating !!!);
• It is also important to explain to the child that this is very intimate and cannot happen in public places if the child tries to do it, for example, while climbing on the playground, which happens quite often!
• Be sure to monitor the hygiene of the child, so as not to provoke an additional reason in the form of itching;
• Provide the baby with medical assistance in case of specific diseases in time;
• Show attention and analyze (in what situations or after what events it is most likely to happen), think about possible alternatives. As in other, more socially acceptable ways, you can relieve emotional stress and unobtrusively offer them to the child (increase in physical activity, for example, in the form of training, walking, etc.).

Summarizing all of the above

Early infant masturbation Usually it is caused by NOT SEXUAL reasons at all, since puberty has not yet begun and the level of sex hormones is not high enough to force the child to discharge himself. There is no need to look for "depravity" in a child, fight against "bad inclinations", be ashamed, etc.On the contrary, if baby masturbation caused you a violent reaction and similar thoughts, then perhaps you need help in acquiring an adequate attitude towards the body and its vital functions rather than the child. So you need not to frighten him and yourself with the consequences, punish, worry and fantasize about a possible negative future, but try to calm down, follow the above recommendations or seek more thoughtful help from a pediatrician and a child psychologist.

Be attentive to yourself and your children!
Respectfully yours, child psychologist, ava-therapist Lyudmila Vorobyova
([email protected])

Probably thumb sucking and nail biting is nothing before another pathological habit that may lie in wait for you and your baby. This morning he asked to go to your bed, and very tenderly, trustingly, pressing his whole body, he began to hug and kiss. It was so pleasant and good for you that you did not want to attach any importance to it. But in the afternoon ... you realized that you made the mistake of catching him accidentally playing ... playing with the genitals. Moreover, the kid not only was not scared, but very sincerely asked you who he really is, in fact ... he is a boy or a girl, although he knows perfectly well who he is.

You were so shocked and overwhelmed that you could not answer him. How do you assess this? What is it? Game, fun, ridicule or elementary promiscuity? You missed something in the baby. How to get out of this situation? Take and punish, so much so that he remembers forever, or calmly explain correctly ... But how to explain correctly here, when he is a crumb, barely three years. Three years ... but I thought of this ... And you, unable to bear it, shouted, even remembering how in the morning he tenderly caressed with you in bed ...

You were discharged, but you made a gross pedagogical mistake in relation to him, convincing him that he was playing so on purpose, and that he was a very bad child.

No, not bad. At three years old, your baby is simply not yet ripe to engage in masturbation. He unconsciously, playing, irritates the genitals. He does not know that there is any kind of sexual satisfaction. He is driven only by curiosity and curiosity. Even before a year, he began the path of a researcher, examining all parts of the body, and he still studies them all. But if earlier he simply fixed that this is a pen, and this is a leg, now he wants to compare them with parts of the body of other people. And in his three years, he does not understand that there are “forbidden” places on the body that cannot be explored. And if we also remind him of this, then his curiosity increases, and he tries to figure out why this organ is more “forbidden” than others, involuntarily focusing his attention on it, which can become a pathological habit.

In addition, from the age of three, the child often experiences a romantic feeling of love for his parents, and sometimes a feeling that somewhat resembles sexual attraction. But this is not a perversion, it is the norm, one of the many steps in the development of a healthy child. Moreover, physical attraction to relatives is a common occurrence and does not conceal any oversight, because it is so pleasant to caress a loved one. The kid does everything without second thoughts. He is pure and considers everything pure around him. But our sex education, or rather the complete absence of it, is capable of generating excessive bias from this purity and turning the natural into the unlawful, thereby generating interest. When you can't, you want to try. And the kids are trying ...

But if by the age of three the child still does not understand what he did wrong, then at the age of six he is already ashamed and sincerely wants to break the habit himself. Therefore, when suddenly you suddenly find a baby playing with genitals, you should not faint. Exposure is needed. Calmly, without emotion, but strictly explain to the kid that it is not beautiful and that it cannot be done that way, that he is already big and must play other games. And if your child is healthy, then this disapproval is quite enough for him to switch his interest to please you.

So, at the age of three, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, and because of this he cannot engage in it. But very often, without realizing it, we ourselves generate the prerequisites for masturbation in him in the future. And the main one of these prerequisites is again the wrong upbringing, when the child feels that he is not needed and, moreover, is unloved. And this torments him so much that he tries to distract himself and looks for a way to distract himself, as compensation for everything. And if at this time he accidentally suddenly discovers that masturbation drowns out anxiety and makes his life more pleasant, the child will be engaged in it already consciously, in order to evoke more positive emotions and forget his adversity against the background of them.

When the baby does not feel affection and warmth and is sensitive to separation to the point of vulnerability, and the mother does everything to be separated from him, and even formalizes the baby not just in a kindergarten, but in a round-the-clock group, he withdraws in protest and looks for a way to discharge himself. He seeks ... and finds.

Only children are especially vulnerable and sensitive. They have no brothers and sisters with whom to communicate. And they have to depend on the mood of their parents. And the mood is different. Quite often - not quite good, but this is - a ricochet at the child. When your child has an active temperament, he immediately looks for a new outlet for himself. In general, as a rule, discharge through masturbation is more characteristic of active children, the "hooters" simply suck their fingers.

Another reason for masturbation is when a baby suffers after learning that a child of the opposite sex was expected at home. He is a boy, and dad needs a girl ...

And even your force-feeding is the reason for this pathological habit, especially when the parents are at war with the baby, and push and pour into him what is needed and not needed, only causing aversion to food. Remember, when the child does not experience the pleasure of food, then one of the most sensitive areas of the body turns off. And this zone - the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth - even reflexively, but connected with another sensitive zone - the genital. And if the area of \u200b\u200bthe mouth is "silent", then the area of \u200b\u200bthe genitals is excited, and this worries the baby. He begins to touch the genitals and feels how the excitement is removed. You continue to force-feed the baby, it continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Itching in the genital area is possible when the baby has exudative diathesis, diaper rash, worms, when you wrap him up too much and put tight clothes on him.

The child's genitals can be irritated when hygiene requirements are not followed or when you teach him too carefully to observe them, which leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

And even physical punishment (spanking and spanking) promotes blood flow to the baby's genital area, involuntarily sexually arousing. Excessively sweet and very rich meat food with a small amount of water drunk, causing itching in the genital area, often also causes masturbation.

Quite often, young children "imitate" older children with increased sexual interest. Such cases of "imitation" from time to time "infect" entire children's groups.

Whatever the reason, however, masturbation is a way to release nervous tension. And if suddenly your child has it, look for where the sources of tension are. Do not overdo it on masturbation. This is not something out of the ordinary, breaking the life of a baby. Therefore, do not intimidate him. Your threats are often more terrible than masturbation. It is they, and not the pathological habit itself, that can cripple the child's future.

How parents should behave with a child engaged in masturbation:

• Find the cause and eliminate it.
• Do not subject to interrogations and examinations.
• Do not shame, especially in front of strangers.
• Do not in any way scold or intimidate.
• Try to give your child maximum attention.
• Adjust its power supply.
• Allow to wear loose clothing.
• During the day, focus on water procedures, walks in the fresh air.
• Create an opportunity to communicate with peers.
• Love and understand!

There are things that, though embarrassing to talk about, are necessary. For example, child masturbation. Many parents are left alone with this supposedly shameful problem of the child and begin to fight this phenomenon as best they can. They make mistakes along the way, and the masturbation only gets worse. Others study books and articles on the topic and look for helpful advice. What to do?

Masturbation or body study?

Now the boy is changing his diaper, and at that moment he pulled himself on the penis. Should this be considered masturbation? Children get acquainted not only with the world around them, but also with their own bodies. But if from early infancy interest in all "decent" parts of the body is encouraged and the baby is asked to show again and again where his eyes and ears are, then any interest in the genitals causes concern for the parents. Meanwhile, the baby is interested in them just like, for example, arms and legs. And yet there is a difference. The genitals are permeated with a rich network of nerve endings and are hypersensitive, and touching them is usually pleasant. Children can become acquainted with these feelings, both by studying themselves and later taking an example from their peers, or quite by accident. For example, with constipation, due to tension, blood rushes not only to the anus, but also to the genitals. Tight, tight clothing and thermal underwear can have the same effect. Overly thorough hygiene procedures can cause pleasant sensations.

Children's masturbation in boys is more common due to the structure of their genitals, but girls also have this phenomenon.

Masturbation and sexuality

Many parents worry because they associate attention to the genitals with the early development of sexuality. They paint themselves pictures of early sexual intercourse and, if pregnancies, as well as an asocial lifestyle, sexual deviations. Don't panic. Child masturbation is very common. But it is extremely rare to cause early sexual relations or the development of deviations. Usually, these phenomena have completely different reasons, which relate to the problems of the child's social adaptation. Especially if there was child masturbation at the age of 3 to 5 years. Pleasant bodily sensations are not yet associated with attraction to the opposite sex, so this habit is almost analogous to thumb sucking, heel scratching and other stimulation of sensitive areas on the body.

Masturbation and neurosis

First, you need to try to distract your child. If he is easily distracted from this process, you should not sound the alarm. Another thing is if it is difficult to distract the child and masturbation strongly absorbs him, we can talk about neurosis. Also, changes in the behavior and condition of the child should be alerted. If he starts sleeping worse, is more capricious, crying, suffers from fears, becomes nervous and aggressive, he has problems. You can see a neurologist. In addition, most often children engage in masturbation secretly, but sometimes it happens that a child does it in public. This suggests that either he cannot control himself, or he deliberately provokes adults to a negative reaction. Both of these indicate that the child is bad. In the first case, masturbation can be a symptom of neurosis and be considered an obsessive action. In the second, the child has a clear problem in relations with others, primarily parents. It is known that children who lack attention are ready to receive it at any cost. For example, shouting, swearing, and even corporal punishment are better for them than indifference. Therefore, when they are usually simply not noticed, they themselves provoke aggression.

How to react

First of all, react calmly. As you understand, nothing criminal is happening before your eyes. And if we are talking about neurosis, then children's masturbation is not a cause, but an effect. It is necessary to distract the child, but it is not worth showing your horror or anger. In general, this habit should deserve as little of your attention as possible. Let the child not think that he is doing something special and terrible. Children who are inclined to provoke adults will only be challenged by this. Quieter and more fearful children will begin to consider themselves bad, and their self-esteem will drop. A person can take from childhood an attitude towards sex, sexuality as something dirty, shameful and then have problems in relationships, and not accept their genitals as part of themselves. All these problems can be combined in one child, and they are not always clearly visible.

It is important to create a calm environment. There should be no verbal and even less physical aggression. Think about what might be stressing the child. Indeed, very often children calm themselves in this way. You can try to keep a diary, and then analyze what events happened on the day when the child masturbated. Was the regime violated, was the baby too overwhelmed or, on the contrary, bored. This will help to adjust the child's lifestyle: in one case, reduce the load, in the other, on the contrary, increase.

Masturbation and itching

One of the causes of child masturbation can be irritation in the genital area. The child is itchy and begins to scratch the perineum. This process gives him pleasure, and he begins to call it over and over again. Itching may be caused by uncomfortable clothing, but there may be some medical conditions. With children's masturbation, children are usually tested for worms and inflammation. In addition, irritation can be caused by food allergies, so some doctors in this case advise to limit particularly allergenic foods, such as citrus fruits, chocolate. Sometimes overfeeding of the child can also cause such a reaction, but in this case, the reason is psychological - when the food ceases to give pleasure, the baby looks for another source of it.

Treatment of masturbation in children

Sometimes doctors prescribe medication for child masturbation, but more often it is enough to normalize the psychological environment and regime. In the presence of neurosis or diseases such as worms, inflammation or allergies, the disease itself is subject to treatment. In the meantime, it is important to tidy up the child's diet, not to overfeed him.

Try to devote more time to him, as the habit is often formed from a lack of affection and attention. He should spend more time outdoors and communicate with friends more often.

It is probably difficult to find a mother who would say that her child, willingly or unwillingly, did not engage in masturbation. Most likely, someone might not have noticed. But it is unrealistic not to pay attention to certain body movements accompanied by children. So my mother saw it, but did not attach any importance. Or maybe she was ashamed to take the child to a specialist. Or she didn't want to touch the topic at all, they say, it will outgrow, it will pass by itself ...

Is such an oversight of a parent dangerous? They will now begin to calm us down from everywhere. They say, no, it's not dangerous, it's a natural process. And in general, it often happens with young children, because the phenomenon is widespread and harmless. And what about the doctors? Don't panic ...

But, have mercy, now, in childhood, this is a case, and with the correct behavior of the parents, you can get rid of the misfortune. Although with our employment this is in doubt. Well, what about adolescence and adulthood? A harmful pathology, which we call a habit, will develop into a neurosis and radically change a person. She spoils his life, negatively affects the psyche and physiology.

What to do if you notice that your the child is doing masturbation? What are reasons for the development of masturbation in children? Is it possible to somehow stop this process?

About masturbation in children

Yes, before you start talking about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children, etc., you need to know what kind of animal it is.

In short, we are talking about artificial stimulation of the genitals for pleasure.

At what age do children start to masturbate

It's terrible, but, as practice shows, children's masturbation has no age. Some attentive mothers paid attention to the fact that their babies began to engage in it in the first year of life, almost from three to four months ...

What does child masturbation look like?

The classic manifestations of child masturbation are enough. And one of them, as we have already noted, is artificial irritation of the genitals. But, in order to find out if your child suffers from this scourge, you need to watch him. Here are signs that may indicate that a child is masturbating:

1. the baby regularly rubs leg on leg, crossing them and throwing one on top of the other, blushing and groaning at the same time;
2. can sway with concentration with a detached gaze, while actively and for a long time rub against the surface;
3. a child a little older, knowing his body, can regularly touch his penis with his hands;
4. babies caress their whole body and kiss their mother, touching their genitals at these moments.

The reasons for the appearance of masturbation in children

There are many of them, and each attentive mother will add to the list of typical (physiological, psychological and spiritual) reasons. But let's focus on the key ones.

1. Curiosity... Yes, children get to know themselves. And this is natural when they touch everything that comes to their hand, but this interest should not become a habit.
2. Violation of hygiene... Yes, the child can act in different ways in response to the persistent itching in the genitals.
3. The child wants to use the toilet... This includes constipation and urinary retention. As a result, the tension caused by the rush of blood to the genitals passes into the genitals, and the children begin to look for a way to discharge.
4. Allergy... She, too, can make the child want to shove her hands back into her panties.
5. Swaddling too tight or underwear.
6. Bad potty training experience... The child was punished when he endured and wrote.
7. Obsessive-compulsive neurosis... It can be caused by the divorce of the parents, a long separation from the mother, and the like moments associated with experiences.
8. Imitation... Having seen how adults are engaged in masturbation, children capable of imitation can try out of interest and then show it constantly to their organs.
9. Lack of parental attention... As a rule, we are talking about large and conflict families. Children, feeling a lack of love for them, feeling unnecessary, stifle their grievances, constantly keeping their hands in their panties.
10. Cruel punishment... Especially if children are punished regularly and for a long time, they defend themselves with masturbation games, thus relieving nervous tension. Children in such moments can unwittingly become sexually aroused.
11. Force-feeding... Are you surprised? Meanwhile, forcing a child to eat when he does not want to, you involuntarily activate the genital zones, which are associated with the mucous membrane of the lips and mouth.
12. and the non-church life of parents... No comment…

Your reaction to manifestations of child masturbation

They say that children are not a diagnosis. Perhaps at a certain age, yes. But, if you notice that the child regularly experiences certain sensations with some stimulation, take action. This is how parents should act in such moments.

• Do not panic, reacting violently to what you see, draw the child's attention to the problem or beat him. After all, children are pure and innocent. Therefore, the main thing here is tact and restraint, which will help to switch their attention to something else and talk to them later. And in general, excessive attention to the situation will have the opposite effect.
• Do not intimidate if you find your son or daughter at work - he is already ashamed, and in general, threats are worse than masturbation itself. Naturally, do not try to beat and punish. On the contrary, you need to reassure, reassure that you still love.
• Do not focus the child's attention on what happened, divert the conversation aside (it is useless now), negating the growing interest in the habit of keeping your hands in your pants - a lot depends on your reaction.
• Answer his questions, even the most ridiculous, in your opinion.
• After telling a child who is able to understand this how harmful this habit is, clarify how abominable this sin is before the Lord and that it must be confessed and bear the fruits of repentance.

Having understood the situation, do not let it take its course - it will not dissolve by itself. Yes, the best way to go through this period of physiological masturbation without problems is your love and attention, as well as a plan of action.

What to do

So, you understand that your child is in trouble. What to do? Much depends on age. After all, some recommendations will be given to a baby who is from three months to three years old, others - to a boy or girl who are already 6-7 years old and beyond. Schematically, your actions may look something like this.

• First of all, understand the reasons -. And, as we know, there are a lot of them, and in each case - different advice. In short, you just need to carefully read the chapter above about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children.
• Second, immediately exclude the causes of genital stimulation associated with diseases and age as well. For example, pay more attention, show your love, not punish harshly, monitor your health and natural dispensations, buy comfortable underwear, prevent your child from seeing intimate scenes, sleeping or falling asleep for a long time, etc.
• Explain to your child in plain language that what he is doing is ugly and harmful. Older children can be told about the physiological processes that cause itching (for example, the release of smegma (lubrication).
• Try, showing affection to the child, not to cross the boundaries - so that he does not get excited.
• Find ways to encourage your child to switch their activity on a good track. This can be sports activities or in hobby groups, outdoor games, communication with peers, conversation on interesting topics, joint trips to the theater, etc.
• If these measures did not help, and the child continues his studies, it is necessary to take him to a polyclinic - the pediatrician will give a referral to the necessary specialist (this can be a psychologist, a neurologist, a specialized doctor, etc.).
• It is important to organize the church life for the child so that as he grows older he can confess and bear the fruits of repentance.

So, the main thing in this problem is our, parental, shortcomings. And if we cope with them in time, our children will grow up without bad habits and will take place in this life.

Pathological habits in children

The most common pathological habits in preschool children are habits such assucking objects, thumb sucking, nail biting, masturbation (masturbation). Less common in preschoolers is painful urgepull out or pluck hair (trichotillomania) and rhythmichead shakingand torso (yakation). The basis of pathological habits is the fixation of certain actions. In order to help children get rid of pathological habits, parents and educators need, first of all, to understand the nature of these habits.

It is known that pathological habits reduce negative emotional experiences in the child (dissatisfaction, conflicting feelings towards people close to the child) and help relieve emotional stress. The feeling of pleasure that the child experiences and the increased attention of the surrounding adults to these actions of the child also helps to fix pathological habits.

It must be remembered thatwhen pathological habits are suppressed, the child's feeling of inner tension increases. Moreover, having suppressed one habit in a preschool child, we immediately get another in return. A particular difficulty lies in the fact that in most cases, preschoolers do not have the desire to overcome pathological habits, moreover, there is often active resistance to adults' attempts to eliminate the actions that are habitual and pleasant for the child (the child's understanding of pathological habits as negative appears only by the end of preschool age) ... Along with common features, pathological habitual actions have peculiarities inherent in each of them, and therefore, ways of overcoming.

Masturbation in a small child. What to do?

Your baby is growing up, and then one day you notice that your son or daughter is touching his genitals. What is it? Natural childish curiosity or pathological habit - masturbation (masturbation)?

Usually between the ages of 2-3 to 5-6 years, children begin to have an interest in learning about the differences between the female and male body. They look at naked children and adults with interest, but the sensations of their own bodies are no less interesting for them. Children often play with the genitals, touch them, tease, scratch ... The interest here is purely cognitive! But, if the sensations that the child experiences at the same time become for him the dominant source of positive emotions, then he begins to resort to stimulation of the genitals constantly, as a result, masturbation arises.

At 2-3 years old, the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, does not know that touching himself and others in some places is considered indecent, so at this age it is too early to talk about masturbation (masturbation). Masturbation is a way of self-gratification, when a child brings himself to emotional release (before bedtime, hiding in a secluded place) and does it regularly, then you can talkabout a pathological habit... In an open, noticeable form for adults, this habit occurs in 5% of boys and 3% of girls of preschool age (according to A.I. Zakharov).

If a child is easily distracted from looking and feeling his body parts, openly asks questions (for example, about the structure of the body, about the difference between a man and a woman, between a girl and a woman), his behavior is not disturbed, normal sleep, then this is a natural step in development psyche, knowledge of the surrounding world and oneself. The surge of such interest occurs at the age of 3 to 6 years, and then dies down until adolescence. In this situation, it is enough for parents to behave tactfully, not to be ashamed of their natural curiosity, to answer children's questions.

Prerequisites for the emergence of masturbation

Physiological.

An active, indomitable temperament (choleric) and, as a consequence, an increased need to release mental stress.

If a girl does not like to play with dolls, she prefers to be friends with boys; if the boy has pronounced boyish traits.

Psychological.

Improper upbringing, when the child feels unnecessary, unloved, lonely: excessive severity, restriction of activity, a large number of prohibitions, physical punishment (especially slaps on the bottom, whipping with a belt). It bothers him and torments him so much that he tries to distract himself to compensate for his loneliness. If a child at this moment accidentally discovers that masturbation drowns out his anxiety, makes life more pleasant, then he will deliberately engage in it.

Problems of emotional contact with parents: lack of affection, attention, positive emotions, early weaning from the mother (when the child is sent to nursery early, the mother goes to work and delegates the care of the baby to another adult).Sensitive to separation from mother. In protest, the child withdraws into himself and looks for a way to discharge himself. Such children hide their feelings, emotions, experiences, often live in their own, invented world.

The second child appears in the family, and the older one feels unnecessary, unloved.

Force-feeding also contributes to masturbation. When parents are at war with the baby, they push in, forcing everything to eat. It only causes aversion to food. And if the child does not feel pleasure from eating, then other sensitive areas of the body are turned on. The area of \u200b\u200bthe mucous membrane of the lips and mouth is associated with the genital area. If the first is "silent", then the second is excited. (according to A.I. Zakharov). The kid begins to touch the genitals. If you continue to force-feed your baby, it continues to discharge. The habit is fixed for a long time.

Psychological contamination - adults often take a child to their bed, caress too much, kiss on the lips, or observe hygiene too carefully (frequent washing, etc.). Imitation of elders - if a child has seen a movie, accidentally saw parents, or older children with increased sexual interest.

Clinical.

The manifestation of neuropathy - sleep disturbance, poor falling asleep - leads to an accumulation of anxiety, which is thus eliminated.

What else can provoke the emergence of masturbation?

The only child in the familyisolated from child society.

High emotionality of the child.

Increased excitability.

Physical punishment (spanking, spanking) promotes blood flow to the genital area, involuntarily arousing the child sexually.

Pregnancy pathologies, unwanted pregnancy.

When the parents wanted a child of one sex, but "turned out" - the other.

Excessive adherence to parents.

Father's impulsiveness, intemperance.

Mother's coldness.

Neglect or, conversely, too careful observance of hygiene standards;
Excessive wrapping, tight clothing.

Failure to comply with hygiene, excessively tight clothes, itching in the genital area with diathesis, worms, diaper rash leads to the appearance of specific sensations and the desire to cause them.

You suddenly found your child masturbating

First of all, if you suddenly find your child engaged in masturbation, you do not need to faint or scream, stamp your feet.

Endurance and tact are required. If this is a small child, then try to calmly, without emotion, switch his attention to something else.

It is also necessary to behave calmly with a school-age child, talk about it when he is able to listen to you. But, in any case, do not scold the child and do not intimidate!

Calm him down, suggest that you want to help him, that you do not judge him, that this will not affect your love for him.

After the first shock has passed, a trusting relationship with the child has been established, try to understand why the child is masturbating?

rubdown.

How to avoid fixing masturbation?

And how can you help your child?

So, first of all, find out the cause of the habit.

Do not shame in any way, do not punish, do not scold. Do not overdo it on masturbation. Your threats to the baby are worse than masturbation. It is they, not masturbation, who are capable of crippling the child's future.

You don't even need to talk to your child about this topic,but radically change educational methods, relationship with the baby.

Give your child more freedom, the opportunity to act independently.

Praise often.

The family environment should be calm and friendly.

If the child wants to run, jump, do not hold him, but, on the contrary, provide physical activity (walking in the fresh air, sports or dance section).

Encourage the child to express feelings and emotions, if he does not know how to adequately respond to negative emotions - teach.

Communicate more often on neutral topics, avoiding lectures, lectures.

Treat prickly heat, diathesis, helminthic diseases in time; urological and gynecological diseases.

Clothes should be clean, loose, not chafing the body. Tight clothing can constantly press on the genitals or irritate them while moving. A child, feeling uncomfortable with such clothes, will constantly correct it, unfasten the zipper, and have to touch the genitals.

Do not frighten the kid with the terrible consequences of his "dirty" actions! This will lead to an inferiority complex, which in the future will result in problems with knowing your body, problems with sex in adulthood.

Do not humiliate the child with interrogations, examination, discussion of this topic in front of strangers.

As soon as you notice that the child is interested in sex differences, explain them to him. However, remember that at the age of 2.5 - 4 years, the child does not need details. Just tell him that girls and boys have different urinary organs so that he does not show increased interest in this topic in the future. If you do not explain this to him, he himself will start looking for answers to his questions (which he may not ask out loud). After all, there are numerous cases of children demonstrating their genitals in kindergartens (the toilet is common!).

It is best to teach the child to sleep on its side, placing both palms under the cheek. Some babies like to sleep on their stomachs. This is also a safe position in terms of possible masturbation. But if the child prefers to sleep on his back, then it is best to teach him to put his hands on top of the blanket, not explaining the true reason, but coming up with some plausible explanation.

If you are helping a preschool child to wash, then you should neither rub the genitals with a hard washcloth, nor gently touch or stroke them. Treat them like a normal part of the body, then the child will treat them as well.

Teach your child to play and have fun. In other words, it is important to teach your baby, so that even being alone, he could independently occupy himself with something interesting (besides masturbation).

Review your diet (less sweet, spicy, salty).

It is necessary to distract the child with a more enjoyable and interesting activity, expanding the range of interests and communication with peers. It is necessary to increase activity in movements, in the ways of expressing feelings and include in the child's life recreational activities aimed at increasing the sense of the body: bathing, dousing,

Seek help from a neurologist.

Remember! Masturbation is a way to release nervous tension. If you cope with the stress, masturbation will "go away."

Love your child! Most often, masturbation affects children in orphanages, who are not needed by anyone, loved by no one, and have no opportunity for self-expression. Make a conclusion !!!

And if the problem persists ...?

If, nevertheless, the child does not stop masturbating before 8-10 years of age, be sure to consult a child psychiatrist or sex therapist. Often at this age, masturbation may be due to the influence of sexually anxious adults or adolescents with mental disorders.

The need for masturbation may also be due to the child's increased hypersexuality or premature psychosexual development.

Many children are unable to cope with their hypersexuality on their own. And since the satisfaction of sexual attraction is pleasant to him, and dissatisfaction, on the contrary, causes mental discomfort and unpleasant sensations, then he seeks to please himself as best he can. At this age, the child is not able to realize the consequences of an early formed libido in the form of surrogate forms.

“Suffering” the child in such cases is absolutely useless.

You should know that the manifestations of premature psychosexual development can and should be treated. If this violation is not eliminated in time, then the child will form a stable stereotype of surrogate realization of sexual desire.

In conclusion, note thatthat the more the desire of parents to remove, eliminate the external attribute of the problem- whether it be thumb sucking, objects, nail biting or masturbation (masturbation),the less chance of eliminating the cause of the habit... In the prevention of pathological habitsof great importance is the normalization of intrafamily relationships, a gentle and equal attitude towards the child, satisfaction of his need for emotional warmth and affection,systematic health-improving and physical education activities, the development of creativity.

Pathological habits must be treated with due care. Only then will the child's situation change in the desired direction.

Bibliography:

Alekseeva E.E. Pathological habits in children. // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.

E. Vinogradova “Bad habits. Little tips for parents. " M., St. Petersburg. 2006.

Sviridenko E. V. Children's masturbation: what is the reason and what to do? // Baby's health. URL: http://www.mama23.ru/articl/cat-10.html.

Shirokova G.A., Zhadko E.G. Masturbation in childhood. // // Bad habits. URL: http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301190.shtml.